Random baggage handler riding an antique-looking bike on a joyride across the tarmac

I spotted this at San Fransisco International Airport while traveling home from New Zealand. I have no idea what this was all about, but I certainly had a good laugh watching him ride around in circles around the plane. I think the best part is the 80′s haircut, 80′s United Airlines livery on his jumpsuit, and old-school bike. Its like a time warp back to the 1980′s.

DJ Maskell's most recent performance at Shamrockfest DC

DJ Maskell is set to headline at Shamrockfest this year, bringing his signature flavor of Electronic Music and Pop to the dancefloor of the DJ side of this massive event. Shamrockfest is arguably one of Washington DC’s biggest yearly music festivals, drawing more than 40,000 people each year to the RFK Stadium Fairgrounds to see more than 50 bands and DJs across 10 stages, with more than 15 different party areas. This big event draws tens of thousands of Happy St. Patties Day revelers to rock out at the dozens of stages all over the fairgrounds.

Oh and there’s beer. LOTS of beer. Its like a big green river of intoxicated people located near a big green river of Anacostia which is toxic, people! Learn more about Shamrockfest DC 2012

Historically, Maskell has electrified the crowd at Shamrockfest with pounding bass, ripping beats, compelling melodies, and driving rhythms that force people to dance whether they like it or not.  Renowned local heavy metal music enthusiast and shock jock Michael Swinburne was in attendance at Shamrockfest 2009, and candidly remarked “God I hate this techno shit, but I just can’t help but dance to it when Maskell’s playing.  He’s really damn good.”

DJ Maskell on the decks at Shamrockfest DC.

This year, they’ve made things even better by adding nearly 100,000 sq ft of party space (That’s the size of a f***ing super wal-mart!) and they’ve made it so you can see all the main stages from the VIP areas. This will be one impressive show, to say the least.

See more pictures from Maskell’s performance at Shamrockfest

Get tickets to Shamrockfest now while they’re cheap. Main event tickets currently selling for $25, VIP for $85, however the prices go up as the event gets closer! All the insanity begins at Noon on Saturday, March 24th at the RFK Stadium Fairgrounds. This event will go on rain-or-shine, so bring an umbrella in case of rain at Shamrockfest DC because the show will go on.

• DJ HEADLINERS
• Maskell
• Dave Russell
• Chris Styles
• Pat Premier
• Flounder
• Neekola
• Boris Gluck
• Lil Fos
• Rene
• Clinton Matthews
• Kwest
• See more DJs playing at Shamrockfest 2012

• BAND HEADLINERS
• Gavin DeGraw
• Dropkick Murphys
• Carbon Leaf
• Gaelic Storm
• Scythian
• Dr. Fu
• Ramshackle Army
• Aaron Crawford & The Badcards
• Along Those Lines
• Charm City Saints
• Fight the Lion
• See more Bands playing at Shamrockfest 2012

Smashy Smashy!

Things will look like crap for the next few days as we finish up the last bits of the site overhaul. Don’t sweat the broken links or misplaced sections. They’re not broken. Yet.

Until then, enjoy this nice old picture of me after smashing an old computer against a brick wall.

Sample section of Maskell's code from the front page of this site

Please see the sites below for examples of my work.

- Mark

www.djmaskell.com *Work-in-progress: 75% complete*

This is the site for my personal DJ business, which is about 75% complete. I have written a custom WordPress theme using PHP, HTML, CSS, JS, and jQuery. This custom theme is actually a child theme used to efficiently overwrite large parts of the WordPress default “2011″ theme, while still allowing core theme updates without changing the appearance and functionality of the site. It is also optimized for social media integration and SEO. The overall look of the site is done, but obviously some refinements, bugs, and content changes remain.

www.bluegrasstoday.com

• Heavily modified existing WordPress templates and core files using PHP, HTML, and CSS according to client specifications and mock designs, added new functionality and new scripts in PHP.
• Collaborated with software designer to integrate custom Ruby scripts with WordPress.
• Helped non-technical customer to verbalize needs and used sound judgment to generate recommendations for solutions.

The front page of dcclubbing.com

www.dcclubbing.com and www.clubglow.com
Note: Sites have been modified by customer since delivery

• Migrated company sites from outdated servers to new dedicated CentOS Linux servers to improve performance and to utilize new releases of PHP, Apache, mySQL, and other essential services, which allowed me to install WordPress CMS.
• Designed and developed a customized framework in WordPress, utilizing object-oriented programming languages including PHP and JS, and markup languages such as HTML, CSS, and XML, to deliver a scalable, cross-browser compatible ‘Web 2.0’ capable platform.
• Assessed the company’s needs and challenges and created custom themes, templates, plug-ins, and functions using PHP, HTML, CSS, JS, and jQuery to create a powerful website/UI that coupled a visual design rooted in marketing best-practices with the best practices in SEO and social media. The result was a content-rich site that ranked first in search results for all targeted terms, went viral on social media channels, and increased traffic by more than 1,000%.
• Utilized external APIs and applications from Facebook, Twitter, Google, Youtube, and others to integrate the site with social media networks and further enhance the ‘Web 2.0′ experience.
• Educated the staff on site administration, content creation strategies, and SEO and social media best practices. Augmented admin interface to streamline workflow for admins/content creators by using PHP scripts to automate common tasks associated with posting new content.
• Constantly analyzed web traffic data and site usage patterns to fine-tune site performance and usability, and to gauge the performance of web content, ad campaigns, SEO practices, and social media practices.

Music to include the best (and worst) from the 90′s: TLC, En Vogue, Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Britney Spears, Biggie, Nirvana, Madonna, Missy Elliott, Ice Cube, ODB, Naughty By Nature, Nelly, and more.

Maskell’s Fridays at Caribbean Breeze: No line, No Cover, No Hype.

Music: 90′s music (duh), plus a little current Pop, Top 40, and Dance.
Crowd: Typical Ballston crowd of young professionals, college/postcollege.
Vibe at the bar: Laid-back, relaxed. Open seating, music volume reasonable.
Vibe on dancefloor: Energetic, with moments of craziness.
Location: Very short walking distance from most apartments in Ballston
Ages: 21+

Drink Specials
• $4 Bud/Miller/Coors lite
• $6 Absolut mixed drinks
• Free shooters on Maskell’s bar tab while they last

Caribbean Breeze is located at 4100 Fairfax Drive in Ballston, Arlington, Virginia, one block from the Ballston Metro.

RSVP to the 90′s Party on Facebook
See pics from Friday nights in Ballston

(Special shoutout to bartender Chris Hart who will be celebrating his last night on the clock before travelling to Norway to freeze his viking ass off in the dark for a few weeks.)

Caribbean Breeze in Ballston, Arlington, Virginia

Maskell has taken over Friday Nights at Caribbean Breeze in Ballston, bringing a slice of DC across the river to VA. You know how we do it: dancing and raging all night, laid-back atmosphere, good drinks… and now its in a better venue. And every week.

Caribbean Breeze is a damn good Restaurant/Bar/Lounge conveniently located less than 1 block from the Ballston Metro on the Orange Line, next door to the IHOP on Fairfax Drive. (For those keeping track, that’s definitely stumbling distance.)

Party features:

• DJ Maskell (Top 40, House, Dance)
• No bullshit at the door
• No cover ALL NIGHT
• No line, no wait, no pointless line-holding
• Sweet outdoor patio
• Lots of open seating
• Solid dancefloor
• *NOTE: Ages 21+*

PLUS:

• Maskell’s buying the drinks till the tab runs dry!

GET ON THE GUESTLIST

• Message Maskell on facebook by 7pm every Friday with the names of people coming with you!

This is what will happen if you DON'T wear a silly hat.

Its simple: Silly hats + Christmas Shooters + DJ Maskell = Blackout.  Plus everyone who wears a stupid had gets a free christmas shooter while they last!

Party features:

• Dozens of stupid hat giveaways!
• DJ Maskell (Top 40, House, Dance)
• No cover, No line, No wait, No pointless line-holding
• Located less than a block from Ballston Metro
• Lots of inebriated young professionals and college kids wearing Santa Hats
• Typical Maskell Dancefloor

*NOTE: Ages 21+*

We're giving away dozens and dozens of stupid hats!

PLUS:

•  Maskell’s buying xmas shooters for everyone who wears a stupid hat ’till we run out!
• $4 Bud/Miller/Coors Lite
• $6 Absolut mixed drinks

GET ON THE GUESTLIST

• Message Maskell on facebook by 7pm Friday, with the names of people coming with you. [Or email 12-23-11guestlist (at) djmaskell (dot) com]

Murphy’s Law is like a five year old kid on a temper tantrum, completely bent on breaking anything you’ve planned to perfection while wearing tiny shoes.  So here’s five sure-fire ways to keep your New Year’s Eve 2012 from turning into a total shitshow.

5. Get tickets early

The world favors those who plan ahead.  Why? Because nobody ever actually does it. That’s why tickets for New year’s eve in DC are dirt cheap in November, then go up in price as the date gets closer.  Of course, this shocking revelation won’t help you today, but perhaps in the future it will.

"It took 10 years, $3 million, and most of my hair, but now I can go back in time and save $14.00 on my New Year's Eve tickets!"

Getting tickets early also makes your life a lot easier because then you can make dinner reservations, book a hotel, and create other fun activities around the night because now the main part of your evil plan is already locked down.  And don’t worry about commitment issues, most people end up going with the first thing they think of anyways, so chances are good that your $30 won’t be spent in vain.

4. Carefully Choose your group

A big part of having a good time is having a good group to party with.  And while most of your friends will be perfect for celebrating New Year’s Eve, you have to recognize the bad apples and weed them out before they cause trouble and ruin your night.

When I say “bad apples” I really mean “bad drunks”.  But because its hard to criticize our friends, we’ll just lay it out straight and tell you to Leave these types of friends at home:

"I love buying expensive and sexy clothes so I can puke all over them at the end of the night"

The hot party girl: She’s a total flirt, rips up the dancefloor at every club, is drop dead gorgeous, and absolutely loves to drink.  Best of all, she’s gained the reputation for getting smashed and hooking up with anything that has a pulse.  Sounds like a winning combination, right?

Don't even think about it.

Well, if you like babysitting unconscious chicks and wiping vomit off 5 inch stilettos, then by all means go right ahead and take her with you.  These girls can’t handle their booze.  Don’t be surprised if your “sure thing” turns out to be the key to perfecting your infant parenting skills.  The rest of us will be partying and celebrating while you brush the puke chunks from your hair.

And then there’s the belligerent drunk…

Not exactly the best drinking buddy. Especially if your enjoy Matzo and Challah.

There’s also the depressed drunk, the disappearing drunk, and the gassy drunk, as well as myriads of others.  The point of all this is know what type of drunk your friends are before inviting them out for a night on the town!

Speaking of which…

3. Know what type of drunk you are

“Judge not, lest ye be judged” So lets take some notes on how to make sure your friends won’t label you Mel Brooks every time you go out drinking and end up driving drunk, fighting with the police, and shouting anti semetic epithets from the backseat of a soiled police cruiser.

Vomiting wouldn't be so bad if all we puked up was sparkles, stars, and fucking rainbows all night.

Pace yourself.  New Year’s Eve is a long night, and if you are drinking the whole time, you will fail in an epic fashion.

Fortunately, you are an experienced drinker and know how much it takes to get yourself to that optimum drunkenness level.  And you also know that alcohol does not immediately take effect the moment you swallow it. You know that 1 beer = 1 wine = 1 booze.  So don’t “conveniently” forget that information the moment you step inside the bar.  Watch yourself.  Know your limits.

You might end up like this winner who passed out while peeing and talking on the phone a couple blocks away from a now-closed DC club.

AND REMEMBER: Even when you’re drunk, you still know that its wrong to touch that girls butt, a bad idea to punch the guy who looked at you, and is probably stupid to hop on a ceiling fan and cluck like a chicken with a bottle in your ass.   Drunk is not actually an excuse for being a douche, and you know it.

2. Be prepared

Lets face it, stuff happens.  You can either be prepared to enjoy life or you can completely fail.  If you want to have a good New Year’s Eve, you’ll make some appropriate preparations.

Y2K preparations not required nor advisable in 2010

Have a backup plan, because you probably didn’t adhere to #5.  And with your luck, the place you want to go will have a huge-ass line and you’ll wait outside all night in the cold listening to your girlfriend kvech about how cold it is.

"Yes, Dear"

Its also good to have:

• Cash and credit card
• The numbers for several different taxi companies (in case one is too busy)
• Condoms, Breath Mints, Barf Bag, and a Freshly Charged Cell Battery
• A good Dinner beforehand, then lots of water after

Dinner is important because food helps to slow down the absorption of alcohol, and water helps you to knock out one of the biggest factors of a hangover: Dehydration.  Well, that, and not drinking so much that you are puking like a freshman well into the next day.

"Boy, I haven't vomited this much since that time we had a drinking contest with ipecac syrup..."

1. Don’t drink and drive

So far you’ve avoided all the potential pitfalls and catastrophes for the night: You got your tickets, you ditched the skank you’ll end up babysitting instead of plowing, you took a good look at yourself in the mirror, and planned your backup.

You’re almost home free, but at the last second, one of those wicked roadside trees jumps out of nowhere and eats the front of your car, causing you and your friends to eat windshield.

"A few hours from now, I'll shit out a tiffany lamp."

Truth is, Drinking and Driving kills, and it will happen to you. Its killed 23 people that I’ve known personally. You don’t even have to be completely trashed to be too impaired to drive.  If there’s even any doubt in your mind that perhaps you’re too buzzed to drive, you should probably call a cab.  And thanks to the wonderful people at WRAP, getting a cab is FREE. Dude. Its free. Why the hell wouldn’t you?

Don’t wan’t to take a cab?  Plan ahead and have a sober friend come pick you up. Get a hotel room. Walk home. Sleep in your car. Hell, you can even take Metro if you’re desperate and have no other options.  They’re open till 3am on New Year’s Eve, and the buses are running on Sunday Schedule.

Granted, Metro has been pretty awful the past couple years, but look at it this way: At least you’ll burn off all those empty beer calories climbing up and down all the broken escalators.

Darn Metro

Party smart this year.

Mark Maskell

New Years Eve DC 2011

New Year’s Eve in Washington DC is going to be incredible at the MASSIVE Big Night DC extravaganza, held at the gigantic Gaylord National Resort on the National Harbor!  There are 15 themed party areas, five dance floors, open bar all night, big bands, big DJs, thousands of people, and of course, DJ Maskell!  This is the biggest New Years Eve event in Washington DC by a very wide margin.

Maskell will be headlining in the Electronic DJ room from 9pm – 2am, which means you get to experience the fire at the peak of the night in ways you’ve never seen before!  The set will feature the most bangin’ hits in Dance, Electro, Top 40, and House, guaranteed to rip the roof off when the clock strikes midnight and the crowd goes nuts.  Check out how insane it was last year at midnight, video below!

Get your tickets to New Years Eve in DC now at bignightdc.com before they sell out!  (and YES they will sell out weeks before New Years Eve)

PICTURES FROM MASKELL’S ROOM LAST YEAR